Funky, But Not in the Good James Brown Way

Blah, yeah you read that right, blah, or bleh, or possibly blue?  I am in a major funk.  I had a wonderful weekend, and then sometime last night I just sank into this horrible bog of self-pity alternating with self-loathing.  You know the mental quicksand drill?  You say to yourself, "oh no, I just stepped in it, I feel so sad, I better struggle to get out!" and then that crappy voice you shouldn't listen to says, "stop struggling and sink to your doom, you suck anyway!" 

How rude!  I will not stand for it, I am rad. 

I had a productive day, I cleaned all kinds of messes, cooked meals, pinned and sewed and embroidered some stuff, and played some games.  Hell, I even sent off a job application!  Take that depression (karate chop)!!!  Now I am going to take a shower (better late than never, don't judge), pour myself and my gentleman caller a glass of wine, and put in a funny movie.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I will be ready to face it.

Allergic to Life

photo by Alex Valavanis

My hubby claims I am allergic to life.  I think this may be one of the most horrible things I have ever heard.  He didn't say it to make me sad, he was just kidding, but I can't get it out of my head.  What a depressing thought!

I am allergic to MANY things, I have never even bothered with one of those fancy tests to tell you what causes the allergies because I suffer from so many I can't imagine it making any difference in my quality of life.  I have tried just about every over-the-counter allergy remedy and even a couple of prescriptions over the years, but nothing really seems to work well enough to warrant the side effects.  

The hubby wants me to go in for the fancy test.  He has said this more than once lately, but I think I cope.  His comment about being allergic to life really has me thinking though...  Do I really cope, and is coping even enough?  I have good days and bad days.  Since we moved to the Pacific Northwest my bad days seem to be outnumbering my good ones.  I "know" I am allergic to pine pollens, and we have a couple of pine trees here in the Evergreen State.  But I think I may have some issues with mold that I never noticed living in drier climes.  I spent pretty much all fall and winter in a state of allergic reaction, I even got pneumonia, that was rad. 

And now the much awaited splendor of spring has me right back in the lurch, I have a problem with grass, especially when people mow it.  In my neighborhood that is every sunny day (luckily the sun comes and goes around here).  Add the high pollen count to the grass and I am wasting whole days unable to breathe and/or function normally.  Maybe it is time for a little professional help.  Is there anybody out there with a good allergy prescription story?  Please do tell, I want to know there is hope of a sniffle free life without becoming a zombie.  You don't have to tell me exactly what you take, I am just curious about general effectiveness and side effects from the patients point of view.

I Am Useful

Earlier today, or possibly late last night, or both,  I was complaining to my husband about my complete, and utter lack of motivation.  I was waxing poetic about how I have no ambition and it troubles me, blah blah blah.  Then I proceeded to trace out the lovely pattern I wanted to embroider on my skirt (to go with the bodice I finished yesterday while recovering from the stomach flu).  And in the process of laying the first few stitches it dawned on me that I am VERY ambitious.  I may not have "goals" in the traditional sense, you know making money, saving the planet, being remembered for my amazing contributions to society, but I DO STUFF.  There, I said it, I validated my existence, I do stuff.  In fact I MAKE stuff, yeah, that's right I make all kinds of stuff, and I like it.  So, next time I get all, "woe is me, I'm a useless skin sack,"  I will try to remind myself that I'm a valid use of space, I make things, and that is something, dare I say, special...

So here is a quick pic of the bodice, please forgive the dummy, she isn't as voluptuous as me, and a close-up of the embroidery project.  By the way the embroidery pattern comes from Kathryn Goodwyn's amazing work Flowers of the Needle.  Go check that out, it is an amazing FREE resource.

Slightly Modified Butterick B4669

Watcha Been Wearing?

On Wednesday I cut my own hair.  Shaved a mohawk... because I can.  I have been hating my hair for months, I kept telling myself I was growing it out, so I had to suffer through the awkward phase.  Tough it out.  Lame.  Life is short, hair grows back.  I don't have any reason to keep my hair professional right now, no job, no plans, so what the hell?  Besides, I am cute with short hair (at least that is what my husband says).

Whenever I cut my hair I manage to take some pictures to share with friends far away, the friends I still go to for style advice and support.  Well I realized today that I had managed photos three days in a row and that is as close to documenting my outfits as I get, so without further ado; this is officially an "Outfit Post"

Wednesday: skinny jeans w/ navy & white striped mini dress, brown tank, brown cardigan and navy flats

Thursday: skinny jeans, white v-neck T, black cardigan, B&W scarf, and Chucks

Friday: black snap ankle leggings, mini dress, black cardigan, and black flats

So now a little fashion analysis of my selections.  I like to be comfy, but I do not rock yoga pants unless I am going to the gym, or suffering from depression.  This week I haven't made it to the gym once, but I needed to avoid the lurking depression, so I have opted for the comfort of skinny stretchy jeans and leggings.  I like the look of layers, and I live in the chilly Pacific Northwest so I always need a little sweater action, but spring is just around the corner so I wanted to dust off some of my cute frocks too.  That is how I ended up pairing little dresses with "pants" and cardigans.  I haven't left the house all week, so I didn't NEED to get dressed, but I could certainly answer my door if you came by unexpectedly. 

Okay, tongue-in-cheek aside, I guess what I have been wearing is actually vaguely important, writing about it reminds me how I am feeling about my life.  This isn't a fashion blog, (I know you are shocked right?).  This is a blog about my life, and while I do love clothes, and I love getting dressed, I am also in a weird transitional phase of my life... getting dressed is actually part of my ritual of normalcy.  So for those of you out there sitting in your pajamas after 8 a.m. I say, go get dressed, maybe even take a shower.  Then you can answer the door when the mailman knocks too.